The trend that looks like you stole Grandma's summer tapestries, and draped them around your shoulders. Protecting yourself from the impending fall air. Did you steal your Great Grandma's side table cloth and sew it together to make a garment to establish that yes…yes indeed I am a hipster.
The 2014 Fall Kimono.
I as A Blonde Half Jap can wear your Mother's old table cloth as a wind breaker. My ancestors rocked the Kimono. But you round eyes. When you grace the outer world with this new trend. One has to ponder your decision. You drape this frock over you shoulders, look in the mirror and decide. Yeah…..I look good. I look good in this Asian garment that is typically meant (now in days) for after bathing. Then walk out your door.
You know what my round eyed friends?! You look good. Maybe exotic, keep rocking those loose fitting ethereal kimonos. They will shield you from the frigid fall air. They will keep you warm until the temperature drops to 68 degrees. Frolic in your kimonos at least until mid October. I know I will.
I'm done with school. Yay! I have had an amazing ride. It has been a year and a half of late nights and early mornings. Tears and fits of rage. Happiness and personal triumphs.
A Blonde Half Jap stemmed from a school assignment. However, now that I finally have some free time. I have decided to continue writing. I enjoy it. It's an escape from the hustle and bustle of the kitchen. It also reminds me that yes, I do still like to look like a lady. Even if I am perpetually existing in chef pants. Which also look very reminiscent of MC Hammer pants. They are not flattering.
On my day off today I ran various errands. Popped into Buffalo Exchange, and I didn't follow my own advice. I did not dress like a "hipster". Which is why I only received $9.00 in store credit from trying to sell my prized clothing. Don't be alarmed! I only gave away my thread bare summer clothing that doesn't fit anymore. On my travels, I also stepped into Sephora.
Sephora, where do I begin. It is a mecca of makeup. Yet, when I am at Sephora. I am as frustrated as a dog shitting glass. I stand around. Not in a passive aggressive way haphazardly picking up random makeup. Acting like I am interested. I'm staring people in the eyeballs begging for help. Today I have been educated on the ways of Sephora.
I worked at Nordstrom for almost five years. Nordstrom takes pride in their customer service. It is a standard of excellence in the retail industry. Customers are greeted immediately and taken care of with a level of expertise and professionalism. It is extremely dissatisfying standing in Sephora. I feel abandoned. Like standing in a room full of hologram images portraying individuals with the latest styles of makeup. Even if I wave my hand in front of their faces. I feel invisible.
Today, I finally was informed about the Sephora "culture". It is more of a "help yourself" establishment. There are stations where the customer can sanitize the various merchandise to sample it. Their are throw away mascara wands and eye shadow applicators hidden away only to the trained eye. Once I was shown how to utilize this establishment. I was elated. For all of you who know me. I am an introvert! I would prefer to help myself. I just didn't know the Sephora etiquette.
Once I was perceptive of the ins and outs of Sephora. I went to town! My goal was to find a new shade of lipstick. I am getting tired of the orange coral shades. My Mom is too. Swatches!
Which of the colors above did A Blonde Half Jap choose? I tried three of them. The finish was glossy but held onto a little bit of the matte characteristics which I prefer. It was a cool pink which is completely different then my normal hue. It deviates away form the traditional peony petal pink that is normally associated with spring colors. The color I am wearing here is Happy Ending. Honestly, I don't think it is the best shade for me. I need to invest in a cooler blush if I plan on wearing it. However, I chose it with my husband in mind. When I tell him the name of the color. It will make him smile.
It's official! The first day of spring was a mere three days ago. Oh, how time flies! It seems only yesterday we were all cowering inside with our heaters on full blast. We would wake up. Go to work in the dark and come home from work, in the dark. Now the weather is getting nicer. The sun is shining longer. We are getting our fill of Vitamin D, whenever the opportunity beams.
This also means we need to deviate away from our knit beanies, classic patterns, boots and pants, turtlenecks, slouchy pants, and folk inspired outerwear. Spring means, COLOR! Colorful clothing, colorful fingernail polish, and colorful makeup. Most importantly colorful lipstick! This spring is all about a matte orange pop color to your lips! Which dismays A Blonde Half Jap. I tried rocking the coral/orange trend this last summer, and A Blonde Half Jap's Japanese Mother was not a fan. Whenever I would see her. And I was rocking the Maybelline Vibrant Madarin. She would comment, "I don't like your lipstick." However, she was a fan of Maybelline Shocking Coral. It looks orange in the tube, but pink once it is applied to lips.
Here is a comparison of the two colors on yours truly.
Mandarin
Coral
I find them both fitting and satisfying. I LOVE lipstick. I still have not mastered the art of eyeshadow. So I express myself through lip color. I do pinks. I crave oranges. I lust after crimson. I dabble in the purple. They're fun! They can make or break an outfit. They can say, "I feel sultry." Or, "I feel sexy." Also, "I feel HAPPY!"
This spring, the color is matte crimson orange. Tangerine, Satsumas, 7 o'clock sunsets, Oompa Loompa's, you name it. Orange is in. Rock it, put it on your lips, add some gloss, and go. The orange lip is a night and day shade. In the day time. Beautify the bright lip with neutral eyes and neutral cheeks. At night, give yourself subtle eyeliner and peachy cheeks. This is a versatile and "booshtastic" color that makes a statement and is completely wearable from work to play.
Spring is here! Go big and go bold Blonde Half Jap's. You have the skin tone, pigment, and hair color to do anything you please. Go crazy. When the sun is out. Embrace the shine and shine from within.
St. Patty's Day. It's an American tradition right? Haha, I'm just kidding, but not really. American's will celebrate ANY holiday. It can be relevant to our country's history or not! If it's a reason to celebrate and let loose! Sure! We'll make it a apart of OUR traditions! Let the booze, corned beef, and colcannon flow! Also, don't forget to wear green!
This is a conundrum for all you fashion friendly out there. To wear green, or to not wear green? It really is a St. Patty's day question. Do I want to be the person who completely abstains from the herd mentality and outwardly participate in this silly tradition? Do I want to not wear a spot of green? Do I want to simply tell people my eyes are green? Which means I'm always wearing green. Do I want to cleverly wear green eye shadow? Do I want to wear shamrock earrings? Or maybe just a shamrock sticker? Should I just lock myself away in my home until this day is over? There are so many questions A Blonde Half Jap has on "holidays" such as these.
I do have to give myself a little credit though. I'm pretty sure my Dad is a German/Scottish/English/ "mutt" (sorry Dad). There are rumors that there may be a little Irish there as well. Also, my husband is Scottish/Irish. So that makes me Irish by proxy right!? Haha.
There are three categories of St. Patrick Day celebrators. The "enthusiast", the "dabbler", and the "abstainer".
The St. Patty's Day "enthusiast" looks like this.
When you see a lady decked out in an obvious "St. Patrick Day" outfit. What do you think? Do you go into ultimate judge mode? Are you skeptical? Do you wrinkle your nose? Do you appreciate and think, "Yeah, nice outfit bro?" I have been through years where I was an "enthusiast". They were when I was in college. Frat parties are the catalyst for costumes. However, the past few years. I have been an "abstainer".
This is what an "abstainer" looks like on St. Patty's Day.
"What? Oh it's St. Patrick's Day? I totally forgot." This is a normal response from an aloof "abstainer". If you were to encounter a "hipster abstainer" the response would be completely different. It would sound much like this, "I do not conform to social holidays. Do you even know the history behind St. Patrick's Day?!"
I think I might dabble in the celebration. I mean, who am I kidding. I'm going to a St. Patrick's Day party tonight! I think I might try to incorporate green in an aloof, yet calculated way this year. Hence, the "dabbler".
Looking at my wardrobe I realized I don't have any green colored pieces. So I might even take a more subtle "dabbler" approach. I do have green eye shadow! However, I feel like green eyes and green eye shadow are completely taboo. A big no-no! So, I decided to look up pics and tutorials of green eye shadow and green eyes.
First off, yes I realize this lady has hazel eyes! Close enough! This look is a going out look. I'm going to a house party. Where, I'm sure nobody would think differently if I showed up in falsies and dramatic St. Patrick's Day makeup. I feel, I would be more comfortable in something like this.
I realize she has brown eyes, but I think this would look great on a green eyed Half Jap. She adds on the fake eyelashes at the end. Although, I love fake eyelashes. I feel like her look is a wonderful St. Patrick's Day makeup without them.
I'll post a pick of my outfit and makeup tomorrow (I know that sounds weird, but I got off work one and a half hours ago). I'm still not sure if I want to be an "enthusiast", "abstainer", or "dabbler" this year. I think I will definitely try out my green eyeshadow. It's sadly untouched. What a perfect day to try it out!
Sunglasses, glasses, goggles, ski masks, Google Glass, safety goggles, comedically large sunglasses, basically any type of eyewear, creates the "disappearing nose act" for A Blonde Half Jap. Today was a beautiful Portland day. The type of day where you walk outside and wonder how you haven't noticed the cherry blossoms yet? Let's just say. It was bright! I noticed my bus in the distance and was completely aware of the fact that I didn't have enough time to run back inside and grab my sunglasses. As I stood at the bus stop I was wondering, "How am I the only child in my family that didn't get brown eyes?!" Brown eyes have more pigment layers than those with green, blue, or grey eyes. Therefor the multiple layers block the effects of sunlight or harsh fluorescent lights. I have green eyes, hence I spent the entire day looking like this. The hoodie blocks the harsh light of the sun!
I apparently have no idea where to look when taking a selfie.
It may sound like it would have been an easy chore to run like the wind and get my sunglasses before the bus arrived. Yeah, I guess I could have achieved that feat and protected my delicate green moss colored eyes. But, I'm a lady. There was no way I was going to show up to school with a sheen of sweat on my face. Even though I sweated bullets in the kitchen all year long. I get to take an english class! My one chance to curl my hair and put on makeup!
My sunglasses. They are my baby. Searching for sunglasses is on par with searching for jeans. Yet not as hard, but still really hard! I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with A Blonde Half Jap's nose anatomy. It's a tiny button nose. It slightly curves up. It has absolutely no bridge. I also have slightly higher cheekbones then my caucasian friends. When I was a child. One of my best friend's little brother used to make fun of my nose all the time. He also simultaneously made fun of my "five finger forehead" but I'll address that wonderful Half Jap physical feature in another post. He was maybe three. I was in elementary school. Whenever I came over to my friends house and her little brother would see me. He would push back his bangs with one hand. Then push up his nose like a piggy with the other, and exclaim, "I look like Talena!" Still haunts me to this day. I never knew such a small person could leave such a lasting scar.
If you reference the picture above. My friend's little brother was quasi accurate. Not fully accurate! I don't have a full blown pig nose! However, I have absolutely no bridge and my nose is quite tiny. I find myself always adjusting and pulling up my glasses because they slip down my nose, constantly.
When buying glasses if you suffer from a small nose and absent bridge, remember these two words. NOSE PADS! Nose pads, nose pads, nose pads! They are some scientists gift to the Half Jap world. They lift the frames off your high cheekbones, and they keep the glasses from slipping down your nose! Let me demonstrate. Below is a picture of me on my honeymoon. I didn't want to bring my pride and joy sunglasses to Italy for fear of losing them. So, I purchased these sunglasses trying to adapt to the current trend. Remember these? Big insect eye sunglasses. Oh the horror!
I apologize for the disheveled hair. We were just swimming. I don't apologize for those martinis!
Note how the sunglasses cover my cheekbones and eyebrows. My nose, however quite small looks like a big toe sticking out of sandals. These glasses were a horrible choice. They actually made a green house effect around my eyes. My eyebrows and cheekbones made a suction cup development which locked in all the moisture. I complained about them enough that my husband Deacon suggested we just switch sunglasses until I found a non-suction-cup-green-house-effect pair. Below is a comparison of Deacon's selfless switch.
This switch wasn't entirely ideal for the both of us. I upgraded, slightly. Deacon downgraded, slightly. Although neither one of us looked into the mirror that morning and thought, "Yes, this works." Well, Deacon might have, but that's just his demeanor. It is also one of the many reasons why I love him. Deacon's face is overcome by my insect sunglasses. They are engulfing his face. However, his eyes can breathe! Deacon's glasses on me aren't the most flattering. You can see my cheekbones and you can see my eyebrows which warrant a little improvement. Also, my eyes are not in a enveloped in swampy humidity. A day later I found my cheap alternative. Then Deacon was happily given his sunglasses back.
This is the only picture I could find with my "new" sunglasses. That guy in the background is our friend. Not a random photo bomber.
Aviators. They are not for everyone. Although in a time crunch. They are an easy "go-to" pick for A Blonde Half Jap. They were not the most flattering pick. It was much better than standing in a stuffy knick knack shop speaking broken Italian while my husband's patience was fleeting each time I tried on a new pair of sunglasses. He wanted to explore the beautiful coastline of the Cinque Terre while I was focused on my vanity. The only reason I honed in on these cheap pink aviators was, the golden rule, NOSE PADS! My pride and joy sunglasses I got in 2007. I've had them for seven years. I'm honestly amazed at how long I have kept them. I have a propensity to lose things. Also to break things. Generally I'm just a clumsy unaware human being most days. The purchase of these pride and joy sunglasses took place in Waikiki, Hawaii. When I was in college every spring break my Mom of and went to Waikiki. We wouldn't even rent a car to travel the island. We were completely content to lounge at the pool/beach and read our books. Go to the spa, and of course shop! We were walking down the strip and popped into the various designer shops. There was your usual. Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Armani, you get the picture. We popped into the Louis Vuitton shop and my mother looked down at her purse and at the wallets with the realization that she needed them to match. We then walked into Dior and both tried on various sunglasses laughing as we tried on various shapes and sizes. My mother suffers from the "disappearing nose act" worse than I do. I then found the perfect sunglasses. They were rose colored lenses which was an ironic choice for a nineteen year old. They had NOSE PADS. They had thick temples. They were girly and perfect. My mother gets out her phone and calls my father. Told him his daughter really really wants some Dior glasses.....and she wants a Louis Vuitton wallet. With a click of a button and a swipe of a card. I received my most cherished accessory of all time.
This picture is an old one. I just realized the lack of pictures I have wearing my favorite sunglasses. I've always had a constant fear of losing them. Now, I just have to tell myself. "Talena, you are a 27 year old woman. You barely lose things anymore. You sometimes, but are getting better about dropping things. You can wear your favorite glasses now. It's ok." GOLDEN RULE: NOSE PADS!
How many of you have ever come across this problem. You are trying on a pair of jeans. You get them to your knees and think to yourself, "Yes, come on Jeans! Just a little farther!" You get them up to your thighs and you're elated. You think, "Just a little bit farther! Here's the most difficult part!" You get the jeans up to your big booty. They won't budge pass your hips and butt. You then take them off and throw them aside with a fit of frustration. Then pick up another pair of jeans off the stack. Sales associates must hate girls like me. I try on a mountain of clothes and barley ever have a win.
I wouldn't consider myself to be a "fat" girl. I wouldn't even consider myself to be plus size. I'm 5'6", 155 pounds pounds. My measurements are approximately 35-28-38. By U.S. women's clothing standards I wear anywhere from a size 8-10 depending on the brand. I can also fit into size 6 dresses, but Jeans. They are another story.
I have been on the hunt for the perfect jeans for years. There was a span of my life in my 20's where I simply just gave up. My signature outfit was leggings and a long blouse, or tights and a dress. However, these outfits always made me appear bigger than I actually was. Billowy outfits only look good on skinny tall chicks, or skinny petite girls.
I was getting bored of my dresses and leggings. I also felt like I was reaching my mid-twenties and it was time to start acquiring a more, "grown-up" wardrobe. So I began the perilous search for jeans once again. I hit road blocks everywhere I went. I tried on 7forallmankind's, True Religion's, Abercrombie, the vast variety of H&M jeans, Gap, J Brand, Paige, Jo's Jeans, and countless more.
Then I hit the jackpot. My mom told me about Ann Taylor Loft Curvy Jeans. I thought to myself, "Boring, isn't this where middle aged women shop? All suits, pants, business clothes, and comfy weekend wear?" She told me to give it a try. So I humored her. The first pair I tried on went up and over my hips with ease! It also didn't leave a six to ten inch gap at my waist. Which is always the number one problem for A Blonde Half Jap. If it fits the thighs and booty! It never fits the waist. We are destined to always wear belts. The length was a little long. But I figured it would be well worth the money just to tailor these magical jeans. The sales lady then suggested I try on petite. I've never considered myself a petite girl. In hindsight it does makes sense. My mom is a 4'8" Japanese woman. Of course I also have a petite build! Below is a picture of me in Ann Taylor Loft Curvy Jeans. I bought them in four different colors.
#1: Choose a higherrise jean. The rise is the measurement from the top of the waistband down to the bottom of the crotch seam. A higher rise jean sits comfortably below your belly button covering your bottom & hip area.
b: Find the best rise for you: With your jeans on take a tape measure and measure from the crotch seam up to two fingers below your belly button. This will give you the measurement of the rise that will be comfortable for you. Or if you don’t have a tape measure use a ribbon or a piece of string. Take this shopping with you and use it as a guide when picking out jeans to try on.
#2: Always choose a style with at least 1% Lycra mix in the fabric content ( you can check on the label inside the jean). This is important for comfort and for keeping shape. Lycra & Elastane do the same job. I have found jeans with a Cotton, Polyester & Lycra mix keep the best shape.
#3: Choose a wider waistband. Perfect for sitting on the hip & the smallest part of your waist. Often a wider waistband sits higher on the back, so no knickers showing.
#4: Look to balance out your curves. When choosing a leg shape opt for a boot cut, wide leg or kickflare to balance out your curves. If you’re hankering for a skinny style, go for a straight leg rather than a skinny style but remember keep the rise high!
#5: Do your homework. There are a handful of denim brands & retailers that specifically have styles for ladies with curves. Check them out as they were created for you…
Good luck all you pear shapes out there! Don't give up!
I started wearing my hair in bandannas for work. One night while I was working the line, my Executive Chef was holding a plate of pasta. I swear his eyes turned red and he was giving me a look of murder. He sets the plate under the spot lamps and peers at me through the pass. He proceeds to fish out a piece of hair. Pulls it out, and keeps pulling for what feels like an eternity. The hair is still attached to the pasta and his fingers are grasping the other end over his head. I look down at my loose braid nestled on my shoulder. He follows my eyes and says, "Yep, nobody else has four foot long blonde hair. Wear a fucking hat or hair net. I don't care what it is, but tie your hair back! And out of my food!."
I responded with, "Yes Chef!" Then thoughtfully looked up and asked, "Can I wear a bandanna?"
"I don't care what you wear! Put a fucking beaver skin hat on! Just make sure this never happens again!"
"Yes Chef!"
I promptly went out and found the cutest pink, purple, and turquoise bandannas. I also found bandannas with cute pictures of birds on them, flowers, anything that would scream I am still a lady. There is no way in hell you will ever catch A Blonde Half Jap with a hair net.
The next day I walked into work wear this.
I received a huge and very impressive eye roll from my Executive Chef. I asked, "Is this OK?" He sighed, shook his head and walked away.
Wearing bandannas made me immediately think of my new favorite era of fashion and beauty. The 50's, and most importantly. The pin up girl. I was scouring YouTube for ways to make a bandanna look cute, and I came across this video. "6 PIN UP looks for BEGINNERS". It was extremely helpful.
Below is my first attempt at a pin curl. It's very messy, however I learned how to hone it in with some practice. Before attempting pin curls you do need an arsenal of supplies. An offensive amount of bobby pins and the cheapest most stickiest can of aerosol hairspray you can find. My go to hair spray is, Aussie "Instant Freeze Hair."
Weird selfie.
All in all the lesson learned here is that, just because you are a girl working in a kitchen doesn't mean you have to look like a boy! Try out the pin curl for your self. It's feminine and keeps your hair out of your face!
